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You just can’t drape yourself over an Airstream

I know. I tried.

There's no hood, and draping myself over the top just wasn't going to work. Too many witnesses. Here's the best I could do.

There’s no hood, and flopping languidly over the top just wasn’t going to work. Too many witnesses (including that guy inside). This here’s the best I could do.

We’re in Houston for the 52nd Annual RV Show — which makes it older than we are, but younger than most of its attendees, although we were happy to see so many young families there on opening day yesterday. And by happy, I mean we didn’t grumble over dodging a few strollers, witnessing a few melt downs, and returning a sippy cup that had been left behind by a little girl who’d been understandably distracted by an electric fireplace.

Opening day is on a Wednesday. Hooray for no weekend crowds! (Remind me of this when we go back with friends on Saturday.)

Opening day is on a Wednesday. Hooray for no weekend crowds!
(Remind me of this when we go back with friends on Saturday.)

The show boasts a convention hall filled with more than 600 RVs of all varieties, from those cute little teardrop travel trailers (basically a towable hard-sided tent with a grill on the back) to conversion vans, to luxury motor homes with price tags in the six-figure range. One of those prices actually started with a 6. Not kidding. We walked through it. Meh.

Price tag for a much less expensive mobile home. Yes, you could buy an actual house for that, but would it come with a Lifetime Womanfy?

Price tag for a Mobile Suites fifth wheel, a few of which are for sale here if you want to see what such a thing looks like.
Yes, you could buy an actual house for that, but would it come with a Lifetime Womanfy?

After an incredibly expensive and nearly inedible lunch purchased from the only open concession stand we could find inside the NRG Center (Kirby Cafe. Don’t eat there. Seriously. Starving is better.), we attended a seminar called “Making Electricity on the Road: Generating & Using Power Efficiently.” I made it through solar and wind generators before my mind wandered off and landed on the true ol’ Texas cowboy sitting next to Tim. You know you’re in the presence of the real thing when he’s wearing a Wrangler shirt and pressed jeans, and his hat matches his boots, which match both his belt and suspenders.

This is Billy Thibodeaux, who's been a presenter here for more than 20 years. He's got miles and miles worth of knowledge to share, and it's certainly not his fault that I am so easily distracted.

This is Billy Thibodeaux, who’s been a presenter here for more than 20 years. He’s got miles and miles worth of knowledge to share, and it’s certainly not his fault that I am so easily distracted.

Anyway, after that we meandered in and out of what felt like about 800 RV’s — yes, even though there were only 600 there, and we stuck mostly to fifth wheels, with the exception of one mobile home, and the aforementioned Airstream.

We saw lots of nifty features, some more interesting and/or useful than others.

Yes

Wine rack: Yes!

Yes

Another yes!

Ewwww

Strip of LED lights above bed: Ew and no thanks.

Why, why, whyyyyyyyy?

Bathroom with a screen door: No, hell no, and seriously WTF, y’all?

The captain is in command -- of a fold-out porch.

Relax, captain. You’re in command — of a fold-out porch.

That's Tim on the right, getting the undercarriage report from the salesman of this unit. We uh, we could be in trouble...

That’s Tim on the right, getting the Undercarriage Report from the salesman of this 2016 Highland Open Range.
We uh, we could be in trouble…

And at the end of our long day (health app says I walked nearly 4 miles), this is how we found each other.

And at the end of our long day (health app says I walked nearly 4 miles inside that convention hall), this is how we found each other. I’d taken a seat; he’d marched on.

We’re gonna take two days off to consider a few things, and then go back again on Saturday with friends, and what the hell, maybe the checkbook and a pre-approved loan too.

Strap in, y’all. Road could get a little bumpy ahead…

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